Yesterday, my sister wanted to arrange a romantic evening for her husband, but it turned into one of those comedies of errors where you have the best intentions but end up just making a fool of yourself. She turned off all the lights, lit a single, sputtering candle for atmosphere, threw on what she thought was her most stunning silk kimono, and lay in wait in the hallway behind the coat rack.
The idea was brilliant: he walks in, and she glides gracefully out of the darkness, letting her kimono slip off her shoulder and saying something sultry.
I hear the key turning in the lock. My heart is pounding; she strikes the pose of a femme fatale. The door opens, and a silhouette enters. She takes a step forward, makes a dramatic sweep of her arms, and...
I get my hem tangled in the huge bag of cat litter sitting by the door.
...knocks over the coat rack with a shoulder.
...dives headlong right onto the person who just walked in, tearing the hood off his head in the process while letting out a wild shriek: "Meow, darling!"
An unexpected finale
The lights come on. My sister is lying on the floor, buried under a pile of jackets. Kneeling in front of her is... a food delivery guy. It turned out her husband had simply ordered a pizza on his way home and sent the intercom code—which I had completely missed.
The poor delivery guy looked at her as if he’d run into a chupacabra in the hallway rather than a "kitty." He was clutching the pizza box in a death grip—having badly mangled it while saving it at the cost of his own life—and stammered out:
"H-here you go... A-a complimentary garlic sauce..."
Just then, my husband stepped out of the elevator, took in the whole scene, and remarked: "Honey, I knew you loved pizza, but greeting the delivery guy with such fanfare? That’s impressive."
We certainly gave the courier a king-sized tip for the emotional distress. I’ve stashed the kimono away so no one gets the urge to repeat this, and I’ll save my "mysterious kitten" persona for deep-cleaning days from now on. )))
Now, fess up, ladies:
Who else has had their attempts at a "romantic surprise" fail spectacularly?
What’s the most ridiculous thing that’s happened to you with a delivery person?
I’m waiting for your stories in the comments—let’s have a laugh together!
