Why does a man simultaneously fear intimacy and seek it?

In reality, men aren't afraid of relationships. They're afraid of being seen.
When a woman gets too close, too attentive, too real, a man feels like he's losing control.
It's as if he becomes transparent. All his ego, all his defenses, all his usual roles are meaningless.

He may want this woman more than anyone else, but the moment she gets emotionally close, panic rises inside:
"What if I'm not right for her?"
"What if she sees I'm not that strong?"
"What if she leaves when she gets to know the real me?"

That's why men often choose distance. Or they retreat into work. Or they remain silent. Or they disappear.

It's not about indifference. It's about the fear of being vulnerable.

But here's the paradox: a man is most drawn to the woman from whom he can't keep his distance. She pulls the rug out from under his feet. She doesn't ask—she feels. She sees that he's trying to leave and understands that it's protection, not rejection.

And then the man faces an internal choice:
— maintain control but lose her
or
— risk himself but gain a true connection

Most choose the former. Very few are capable of the latter.

And you yourself—would you allow a woman to see not only your strength, but also your fragility?